A Pickle for the Knowing Ones by Timothy Dexter

(23 User reviews)   6230
By Nicholas Ortiz Posted on Dec 25, 2025
In Category - Legal Drama
Dexter, Timothy, 1747-1806 Dexter, Timothy, 1747-1806
English
Ever found a book that feels like a fever dream written by a mad genius? Meet Timothy Dexter's 'A Pickle for the Knowing Ones.' It's not a novel—it's a chaotic, unpunctuated rant from America's first eccentric millionaire, published in 1802. The 'conflict' is between Dexter's scrambled brain and the English language. He roasts his neighbors, gives bizarre advice, and claims he's smarter than everyone. The mystery is: was he a brilliant satirist or just completely unhinged? Reading this is like finding a strange, angry note in a bottle from the past. You won't forget it.
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with the baronial supporters, after the manner of the English nobility. With this equipage he took the title of Lord Dexter, because, as he said, it was "the voice of the people at Large." He was sometimes called the Marquis of Newburyport. Having completed the embelishments of his house and gardens, Lord Dexter busied himself in receiving the visits of the crowds, who were drawn by curiosity to his house. His gardens were thrown open to their inspection, and he was liberal to all. The fame of his hospitality attracted as many visitors as the fame of his images. To gratify his vanity he selected in imitation of European princes, a poet laureate. This was no other than his former apprentice, Jonathan Plumer, jun., a native of Newbury. They had once been associated as master and apprentice, but now stood in the relation of patron and poet. From the auto-biography of Plumer a very curious and scarce production of 244 pages, the following extract is taken, which may serve to give some idea of the versatility of his genius.--"I had," says he, "some practice as a physician, and earned something with my pen, but for several years was obliged chiefly to follow various kinds of business accounted less honorable, viz: Farming, repeating select passages from authors, selling halibut, sawing wood, selling books and ballads in the streets, serving as post boy, filling beds with straw and wheeling them to the owners thereof, collecting rags, &c." He had previously served one or two campaigns as a soldier, and on his return from the wars he taught school for some time in New Hampshire. The ballads, which he hawked about, were generally his own composition. Every horrid accident, bloody murder, a shipwreck, or any other dreadful catastrophe, was sure to be followed by a statement of the facts, a sermon and a poem. In the capacity of ballad maker and monger he attracted the notice of Dexter, in whose service he entered for a small salary as poet laureate. He wore a livery, consisting of a black frock coat, adorned with stars and fringes, a cocked hat and black breeches. He was crowned in the garden of his patron with a wreath of parsley, instead of laurel, but the ceremony was interrupted before its completion by a mob of boys, and both patron and poet put to flight. One specimen of his laudatory verses may be seen on page 29 of this work, which will give the reader some idea of his qualifications for the office to which he was elected. How well he was satisfied with the praises of the poet we are not informed, but feeling probably that no person but himself could do justice to the ideas, which he wished to present to the public, he commenced writing for the press. Several of these effusions were printed in the newspapers.--The larger part of them written at different times are embodied in the present work, a large edition of which was published by himself and given away. In this edition not a stop or a mark was used in any line of his writings, but in the second edition one entire page was filled with stops and marks, with a recommendation from the author to his readers, to use them where they were wanted in the work, or in his own language, "to peper and soolt it as they pleased." Dexter had two children, Samuel and Nancy, neither of whom was distinguished for strength of intellect. The son was a dissipated prodigal and died young. The daughter, of whom mention...

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The Story

There's no plot here in the normal sense. Timothy Dexter made a fortune through wild luck (like selling warming pans to the West Indies) and decided the world needed his wisdom. The book is one long, rambling chapter. He complains about his town, insults people who doubted him, and offers his thoughts on everything from religion to fashion. The most famous part? The entire second edition just adds a page of punctuation marks at the end, telling readers to 'pepper and salt it as they please.'

Why You Should Read It

This book is a personality explosion. You're not reading for a story; you're getting a direct line to a truly unique American character. It's funny, confusing, and oddly brilliant. Dexter's sheer confidence in his own nonsense is captivating. It shows that the internet didn't invent the unedited rant—we've always had them. It’s a short, wild ride that makes you question what a book even is.

Final Verdict

Perfect for anyone who loves weird history, unconventional memoirs, or proof that people have always been strange. If you enjoy primary sources that haven't been sanitized, or if you just want to read something completely different from anything published in the last 200 years, grab this pickle. It's not for people seeking a tidy narrative, but for those who want to meet a real, unfiltered character from the past.



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Robert Allen
8 months ago

As someone who reads a lot, the plot twists are genuinely surprising. I couldn't put it down.

Amanda Anderson
1 year ago

I came across this while browsing and the clarity of the writing makes this accessible. Absolutely essential reading.

William Lee
4 months ago

A bit long but worth it.

Barbara Garcia
1 year ago

I was skeptical at first, but the emotional weight of the story is balanced perfectly. Thanks for sharing this review.

Mary Miller
1 year ago

This is one of those stories where the depth of research presented here is truly commendable. I learned so much from this.

5
5 out of 5 (23 User reviews )

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